Mornings

Lately mornings have really been terrible for me. Probably because morning for me comes at 4:30am. I never feel quite right waking up before the Sun. The sun has always been there when I get up, and not seeing it when I wake up just seems unnatural. Even worse, this morning I woke up at exactly 4:30, which is actually when I'm supposed to get up. So then I tried to go back to sleep and it just didn't happen.

This morning I found myself thinking again about my purpose in life. This is something that's been running around in my head for years now. See, I graduated from college in 2003 with a Cognitive Science B.S. degree and a minor in Computer Science. Guess how much I've done with it since then? Zilch. Zero. Nothing. All the brain cells that are used with computers have been withering away, except when I work on my own computer, or one of my friends. I could start some sort of a freelance computer business of some sort, yes. Or, I could take the A+ course, or some other certification so that I'm sure to stay fresh. But guess what one needs to do these things? Motivation. Ambition. These words are barely in my vocabulary, much less my actualy personality.

What am I talking about here? I started out talking about mornings..then I went to meaning....then computers, and now my lack of motivation. Hmm. Maybe that's what "Unfocused Wanderer" refers to. Oh well. Perhaps I'll expand on one of these topics in a later post. Or not.